Give A Fuck

I DONT  Can't give a FUCK anymore. I feel like the most stupid fucking little girl in the world. I'm selfish and needy and its fucking stupid. I cant give anyone what they really need. I allow people to take take take what they want from me and then get nothing I really need/ want in return. I can't even cry anymore. I am over it. I am tired of pouring my heart out to people to have them be too intimidated by it or to not give a shit about me. I really am convinced that I care more than they care for me. I would take a bullet for those I love and I dont know  that I could say anyone would do that for me.

   Silly girl expecting your hopes and dreams to come true. Fat fucking chance. I'm over it. Im done. I have nothing left in me to care. I'll do what I have to do to survive and thats it. I am going to live for me. I am tired of living for other people and doing things for them to show I care. I am a fucking fool. I've been fooled so many times theres no need to even shame on me. I am so angry right now. I am tired of disappointing others and mostly people disappointing me. Perhaps my expectations are too high, I can't expect everyone to love me. It's never enough and I'm tired of always wanting. so today That fucking dies. No more little sad girl. no more love me, love me im a fucking puppy who needs the attention. Im fucking done. I am so tired of not being able to count on people. Im over looking to others to define my happiness. It's not going to happen. No one else can ever make me happy the way I want to be. YOU EITHER DO OR YOU DONT. You either care or you dont. I can't stand the wishy washy ways of the men around me. I can't blame them. Who wants to have to be the crutch for this crazy bitch. I exhaust myself let alone have to count on someone else to take it in. I feel so stupid. Thinking this could ever work. That I could ever be happy. I dont deserve it. No one can convince me other wise. No one has the time to dedicate for that shit. I have to do it on my own, and say fuck all of you, I don't NEED you. Im not going to delve into why I feel this way or what has happened because honestly, I tell people my business way too much with out them asking. I feel like a burden to everyone around me. I may very well just fucking disappear for awhile .thats what I fucking feel like doing.