He sent me this today. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xjdkc14-zwQ
I hate reading into these things. I'm happy, i really am. But sometimes you just have to wonder what it all means. no message just the song. I hate thinking things are cryptic. for now its just a beautiful song. Here are the lyrics:
I could never pretend that i don't love you
you could never pretend that i'm your man
that's exactly the way that i want it
that's exactly the way that i am
and you'll call me in the mornin with your troubles
takin it downtown every night
i could never place the stars at night above ya
got my hands on the ground and you know i'm right
you wait so long
its a coffee stain on earth every time it happens
laugh it up honey it ain't that bad
and the after thought rose to recognition
like every other coffin that i had
then your Buick broke down in Winamuck
you fall to your knees and you pray to the lord
then you take a poke at the politicians
nothing happens in this burnt out town anymore
you wait so long
and your heart rolls on like a frozen freight train
you know that I'll help you if i can
but I'm just a raindrop in a river
just a little itty bitty grain of sand
and you know that i'm doom to repeat this
with all the bad habits that i learned
but its better than your fiber fornication
and all the dirty money that you earned
you wait so long
If he knows you're in a relationship, and still sent you this, then he has no class. He's playing with you.
ReplyDeleteNO, it's not like that. Its more of a little reminder. i dont hear from him at all, but its like he just knows when i need him. A wish of what could have been and a reminder of where i came from. He was there for me for a lot of shit. It just never worked out. He's a loner Libra. I could talk about this for days but i dont have the heart. Its a tender subject sometimes. feelings go away when you ignore them, until someone sends you a reminder.
ReplyDeleteStill hung up on your ex. I get it ;)
ReplyDeleteNah. Its not even that he was never mine to begin with. I cant call him an ex. Its hard to explain. He could have been mine, i would have been his forever, and we were both too fucked up in our own problems to make it happen. He helped me and i kinda took advantage of that making him a shoulder to cry on. I don't know it all went wrong at different points and by the time i was moving on he wanted to be with me. We just never made it. He will always have a special special place in my heart and he will always be my Sug, (sugar) I hated spelling it shug. b/c i dont like shug knight. lmao. Its one of those people who you were able to have extremely beautiful moments with amidst all the absolute bull shit of everything else. we just let the bullshit take over. I wouldn't change my life right now for anything, but if he came rolling in on his chopper and asked me to go, i would think about it, and then finally walk away. that will never happen so he just sits in my heart. and we talk occasionally. The reason i guess i am so comfortable talking about it and admitting the things i do, is that i truly know for a fact that i will spend the rest of my life ( i hope) with nathan. Im no fortune teller but my inner gypsy says its real. Who the fuck knows. I just know that for the first time in my life, i am 95% happy with everything.
ReplyDelete