Holy Emotional Roller Coaster, Batman!

Yeah, i've been a crazy titty cry baby bitch since saturday. The depression hit really hard on sunday. I slept the whole day. Then, today i go to work and i try to help some people out or what not, and it fails. when they dont need or want the help i feel rejected. I'm pretty sure my skin is all transparent and thin as all hell. I mean what the fuck. I feel like everyone around me is talking to each other and im the little kid just reaching her arms up to be picked up and paid attention to. I feel very ignored lately. I am sure this will pass when people that i barely talk to wish me a happy birthday just because FB reminds them. I mean sometimes i really feel like no one gives a shit about me. This really sucks and its stupid all because one person seems to be so closed off that i cant wiggle my way in, and i hate that. I hate not being able to read people or know whats going on in their heads. I cant tell if they like me or hate or cant be fucking bothered. and thats shitty. its not cool to be that closed off. But i do tend to go for closed off ones. Its like a puzzle, and right now, i feel beat. I just want friends. real friends. so what have i always done, be ten times the friend any one has ever been to me. give give give so that they'll like me. What a fucking stupid cunt i am. Why is it that i am so drawn to people like that. why is it i feel the need to give so much when i get nothing in return? its the inevitable problem that some of us have had since we were little fatties. we just want people to like us. I  really think i am feeding off of my brothers bi polar energy because i feel so utterly conflicted in my emotions of myself. i am two face, harvey dent.