March is here. My birthday is a week away and my friend Debbie and I ,whose birthday is the day after mine, are getting together to plan it out. its exciting, but im always afraid no one will show up. I had that happen to me. No one showed up on my birthday at gold rush one year and it ended up being the worst month of my life. No point in talking about shitty past time. so hopefully people will come out for this one. I have friends scattered all over town so i end up taking a whole weekend to go to different places around town so people can hang. I dont know maybe at my age i shouldnt give a damn about my birthday. but you know what fuck that because its the one day a year i should get all the attention i deserve. all eyes on me. everyone loving on me. Pining for my attention instead of the other way around. Everyone wants to feel special, everyone wants to feel liked.
Also, i really hate having good thoughts to share while im working because by the time i get home to share them, ive lost them. i need a recorder. that would be awesome. I should get a new birthday outfit. something i feel good in which is nothing right now, i feel so gigantic i feel like the pixies wrote the song for me. any way. I try not to be so negative. i think negativity really comes with age. Ive always given a shit but why is it so important for me now to feel like people accept me? Why have i felt like my entire life im always going to miss out on the big party? I need to take more time for me to do the things i want to do in life before i cant do them anymore. I had a ridiculous dream where all i did was travel and sleep with people. In a lover's dream. Why is it that human nature is so focus on sex? Do women think about it more? Or do i just have the mind of a horny 19 year old boy? btw when did UPS guys get so freaking hot? All the ones that deliver to my work are super hotties. I will always be boy crazy i dont think i grew out of it. but i have love and a beautiful relationship that i cherish. so i just sit around and eye fuck people, everyone does it right?
LORD.
Definitely get a voice recorder. I never go anywhere without one. Especially useful when getting a brilliant idea while driving that you can't jot down in a notebook.
ReplyDeleteYeah. I used to have a little notebook but its hard to jot down or probably even record a thought when im busy making milkshakes. I wish there was a way to record every single thought i had. i think it would be really fascinating.
ReplyDeleteYou must see the film "Brainstorm" (that actress Natalie Wood died during the filming of.) It's about just such a technological innovation, and is couched in a touching love story about a couple struggling to keep their love alive. Outstanding underrated film.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtwCHfmDQ60
i will check it out.
ReplyDelete