west side story of a girl with a friendly heart

 Im a west side girl always have been always will be, but I  really have come to love some east side haunts. especially Foobar. Also, i really miss going to shows. As soon as i get my new car, thats going to change. Im going to give myself my social life back. an equal balance of home and social life. I realize that Nate is never going to be the going out type. Thats fine with me. I mean i hate seeing other couples out and they look like they are having a good time but for all i know that girl could be the other woman or vice versa. i need to stop judging my life on the appearance of happiness of others. I miss dressing up and rocking out. I miss hanging out with friends at shows. i miss hanging out with friends period. I have recently been discovering that I may know a shit ton of people, but I am thoroughly convinced that most of them hate me or give a  shit about me. Which is soooooo not like me. I have just realized i have very little actual friends anymore. It wouldnt be so bad if i actually got to hang out with anyone other than the cat. SO that's changing. My number one birthday resolution is to quit being a tittiy cry baby bitch and envoke more badassery in my life. I am fucking rad. somewhere along my line of relationship happiness i forgot that. its so weird how a relationship can be amazing and build you up, but make you forget how awesome of a person you are. sometimes that happens when you start caring more about other people than your self. when i think about it i am certain that i care more about most people than they care about me. I would do just about anything for anyone if they wanted or needed me to. Its just the way I am. I would face death for my friends. i am a die hard friend. I am a friend to everyone i meet. i just wish it was the same for everyone. there would be a lot happier and better people. My heart is gigantic. i love to love people, i love to give myself to people, my time and energy so if you're out there and you want a friend as good as i am, HOLLLLLERRRRR.